Sitting with it.

Sometimes I get caught up in this thing where I have a very gossipy story that I must talk about incessantly to my closest friends and family, so much so that I hear "you just can't let it go, can you?" from them and then I realize that something needs to be done. Not letting it go, mind you, I don't really think we can let things go anyway - we can only move on -  but what I need to do is to sit with it.  Let it be. Turn my attention elsewhere until the silt of my true feelings can settle down to the bottom of my brain and I can finally see it clearly for what it is.  Concern. Pain for my friend. Anxiety about their future. Love.

Then the real work begins.

Time for a change

I can feel it in my bones.  Things are about to change.   We are on the precipice of something.  A fresh start? A new place? I don't know exactly know how... but I think it will be good. 

Generosity

Little Guy turned eight this past winter. All he asked for was Pokemon cards and money to buy Pokemon cards. He was a little obsessed, especially because he loses them almost as quickly as he acquires them. One of his buddies smartly gave him a gift card to Target in lieu of cash which is easily lost or thieved by his sisters.  

A few months later he was itching go to Target, just really talking about it incessantly.  After the third day if nonstop Target talk, I took him by for a quick spree before his gym class.  He spent almost the entire gift card on a big box of Pokemon. He was so stoked.

The next day, after school he asked to go to Target to use the rest of his gift card on one single pack of Pokemon.  "Little Guy," I said, "I just took you there. Where are the Pokemon that you bought yesterday?" "I don't have them anymore. I have them all to David." He said.  "WHAT?!! Why?" I asked, annoyed that after all that nagging and the special trip, he gave them all away.

"Because he didn't have any. And I have enough."

And enough is plenty when your friends have none.

I have learned much from that Little Guy. Now, when someone insists on paying me when I watch their kids after school, or teach them swimming, or do anything I would have done for them anyway, sans compensation, that money gets pinned to the bulletin board. Mitzvah money, we call it, and it stays there until someone we love is in need. Even G puts money on the board, when she gets overcompensated for babysitting or cake baking. 

And eventually, it gets used,  paid forward, because although we don't always have a lot, we do have enough.

Last Day...

Motherhood is a series of beautiful little heartbreaks.

Last Day of 5th grade

I have this friend ...

I have this friend. She chooses her battles. She empathizes with her kids. She doesn't sweat the small stuff. She is FULL of love and joy, even when those around her are not. She worries about losing her tweenager to the sea of self doubt and hormones he is swimming in. She fights for him as much as he will let her.  She is one of the funniest people I  have ever encountered. She does SO much for her family, most of it goes unrecognized, but she rarely complains.  She understands. She is always there for me when I really need her. And we have only met ... Once.  She is one of the the very best moms I know. You know who you are.  Just keep swimming. 

Honeyknuckle

It was a perfectly golden morning, just the kind of day you wish could last forever.

"Come on, love, we don't want to be late on your very last day of Pre-K!"

"But Mom, I need to go get some honeyknuckle first!"

"I will take some for my friends." 

I hope she keeps these friends, forever and a day. They are good ones.

Seriously, people?!

I am SO tired of reading people's posts about how much they hate the end of the school year. Too many parties for their kids, end of the year programs, crazy hair days and teacher appreciation.  How DARE they be asked to send in 500 cupcakes for their kid's 5th grade graduation, I mean REALLY! 

Please, bitches, this is mostly your own doing. Most of you have been the alpha moms, taking over every room parent position, fall festival and spring fling you could; "helping" build your kid's science fair project and making sure your exceptionally gifted child is having all of their very special needs met by their TAG teachers. (Whom you apparently find undeserving of appreciation)

Here's an idea - back off. Relax. Let your kids enjoy their last few weeks of school and let their teachers know that they actually matter, instead of hounding them for the A's that you "deserve".  Say "No, I will not send in the three tier cake you asked me for, even though I said I would at the beginning of the year, but here is a box of Oreos for the class to share instead." Or, have your kid bake the damn thing.

Quit bitching about all the papers and events that your make your kids giddy with excitement. Have them do their OWN projects for once and have a margarita and enjoy it while you watch them learn how to solve their own problems.

And STOP COMPLAINING about how long summer is going to be, before it has even started.  Why did you have kids anyway?  

Seriously, people, you have 18 years when they are yours to enjoy, and only about 12 of those where they still listen to you... Appreciate that. Value them. Enjoy the life that you have NOW... while you still have it.

Huffine Vocab Lessons

Focuntrate (v) (fo•kun•trayt) - the act of thinking really hard about something; alternately- focuntrase

Rememberize (v) (re•mem•bur•ize) - intense memorization, the act of helping someone recall something that is just right there on the tip of your tongue...

Constructions (n) (cun•struk•shuns) - the pieces of paper that come with happy meal toys which tell the reader how to assemble and use such toys; they also appear on the back of temporary tattoos and in board games.

Loveher (adj) (luv•er) - frequently used as a synonym for appreciation when honoring teachers on special days, i.e. Teacher Loveher Day.

MarBall (n) (mar•ball) - small, hard orb that you don't really know how to play so instead you disperse randomly throughout the house.

Onamint (n) (ahn•uh•mint) - something you put on a tree for the holidays

Bored-games (n) (boaarrrd•gaaaames) - games children refuse to play when they are bored because they are too boring.

Icing (n) (i•sing) - a cold pack for a boo boo

Goodbye Pre-K, It's been great...

You taught us to count to eight.
Thank you Mom and thank you Dad
For putting up with the good and bad,
Don't you cry, 'cuz aren't you glad
You're baby's growing up.

:(

Flying

Remember when all you needed to fly was someone bigger than you with strong legs and flat feet?

I do.

For me it was my sisters. For my niece and G, and Little guy it was me. For  Little L, it is G. I remember that my sisters used to fly me all the way up until my head touched the floor and then back down again. It was so much fun... an exercise in trust.