Bedtime astrophysics.

Mom, why does the earth orbit the sun? Why does it tilt on its axis? If it's winter here, is it summer somewhere else? Are there other planets like ours? What are we made of? Where did we come from? How come some animals have babies and other ones lay eggs? When did that happen? How did the air get here on the earth and why doesn't it float away? How can the earth orbit the sun because of gravity when there is no gravity in space? Are you getting tired of my questions? No? Ok, goodnight.

Perfect day

Today we slept in late (because of the fall back). G and I went to the grocery in our pjs and bought ingredients for pumpkin pie and the Sunday paper. We came home and cooked, cleaned, built a fire and the kids played together. Little L got the Spider-Man car stuck in her hair TWICE. She and My Guy had such fun putting a tiny stuffed pig on it and running it around the house.

My Guy and Little L spread their Halloween candy out all over the Xmas tree room floor, and ate it all, leaving the room littered with candy wrappers. We watched Big and talked about our upcoming trip to NYC. The girls stoked and billowed the fire and we used up all of the logs. We watched Frozen and drank hot cocoa with whipped cream and cinnamon. Little L used my iPhone to play music and dance

around the living room by firelight.  We all stayed in our pajamas all day long.  It was a Perfect day.

We got this, sister!

At the bus stop this morning, I actually got out of my car and walked my kids to the curb. Normally, they just let themselves out because often I am not wearing any pants. (Hey! Mornings are tough!) Anyhow, today I wore pants - old paint-splattered pants and a ripped up tank top and a trucker hat to boot. And shoes! Well, flip flops.  It was a good morning.

But I digress. I got myself to the curb with my kids and actually talked to the one other mom that brings her kids to our stop. Now I have "known" this mom for years - same neighborhood, wave at the pool, etc - but rarely have we conversed.  She is beautiful. Fit. Always put together. Works full time. Always wears pants. (Or at least a skirt.)

We talked about the kids' new teachers, our school that we both love, and curriculum night which was held yesterday. I, of course, was yawning and tired, because I did not get home until 9 and then had do do the work of the house and bedtime alone, as Mister is currently in Egypt.  She, of course, was not yawning, because she is seemingly always alert, even though I know she also had to do her nighttime routine alone. She is a single mom, you see.

I mentioned I am a room parent for both my kids' classes this year. She said, "Oh I can never do that stuff", flippantly with a hint of defensiveness and guilt ringing through her words. I cut her off and was like, I know sister! You can't! Someone's got to bring home the bacon!  Working full time is a full time job.

The thing is, I get it, really I do. There are years I am so uninvolved that I hardly know the teacher's names.  There are other years that I am super involved, because I can be. And on those off years, I know that the room parents and teachers and faculty are taking good care of my babies. They have got my back. 

And during the involved years, it is my turn to step up and be part if the village.  Without judgement. Without expectation. 

And definitely not because I am some over involved mom that needs to hover over her kids and know every little detail of their lives.  Simply because I can. This time, I can.

So to this perfect mom, and all the other moms (and dads) in my kids' classes I say,

We've got this, sister! Together, we've got this.

It's gonna be a good year.

Sitting with it.

Sometimes I get caught up in this thing where I have a very gossipy story that I must talk about incessantly to my closest friends and family, so much so that I hear "you just can't let it go, can you?" from them and then I realize that something needs to be done. Not letting it go, mind you, I don't really think we can let things go anyway - we can only move on -  but what I need to do is to sit with it.  Let it be. Turn my attention elsewhere until the silt of my true feelings can settle down to the bottom of my brain and I can finally see it clearly for what it is.  Concern. Pain for my friend. Anxiety about their future. Love.

Then the real work begins.

Time for a change

I can feel it in my bones.  Things are about to change.   We are on the precipice of something.  A fresh start? A new place? I don't know exactly know how... but I think it will be good. 

Generosity

Little Guy turned eight this past winter. All he asked for was Pokemon cards and money to buy Pokemon cards. He was a little obsessed, especially because he loses them almost as quickly as he acquires them. One of his buddies smartly gave him a gift card to Target in lieu of cash which is easily lost or thieved by his sisters.  

A few months later he was itching go to Target, just really talking about it incessantly.  After the third day if nonstop Target talk, I took him by for a quick spree before his gym class.  He spent almost the entire gift card on a big box of Pokemon. He was so stoked.

The next day, after school he asked to go to Target to use the rest of his gift card on one single pack of Pokemon.  "Little Guy," I said, "I just took you there. Where are the Pokemon that you bought yesterday?" "I don't have them anymore. I have them all to David." He said.  "WHAT?!! Why?" I asked, annoyed that after all that nagging and the special trip, he gave them all away.

"Because he didn't have any. And I have enough."

And enough is plenty when your friends have none.

I have learned much from that Little Guy. Now, when someone insists on paying me when I watch their kids after school, or teach them swimming, or do anything I would have done for them anyway, sans compensation, that money gets pinned to the bulletin board. Mitzvah money, we call it, and it stays there until someone we love is in need. Even G puts money on the board, when she gets overcompensated for babysitting or cake baking. 

And eventually, it gets used,  paid forward, because although we don't always have a lot, we do have enough.

Last Day...

Motherhood is a series of beautiful little heartbreaks.

Last Day of 5th grade

I have this friend ...

I have this friend. She chooses her battles. She empathizes with her kids. She doesn't sweat the small stuff. She is FULL of love and joy, even when those around her are not. She worries about losing her tweenager to the sea of self doubt and hormones he is swimming in. She fights for him as much as he will let her.  She is one of the funniest people I  have ever encountered. She does SO much for her family, most of it goes unrecognized, but she rarely complains.  She understands. She is always there for me when I really need her. And we have only met ... Once.  She is one of the the very best moms I know. You know who you are.  Just keep swimming. 

Honeyknuckle

It was a perfectly golden morning, just the kind of day you wish could last forever.

"Come on, love, we don't want to be late on your very last day of Pre-K!"

"But Mom, I need to go get some honeyknuckle first!"

"I will take some for my friends." 

I hope she keeps these friends, forever and a day. They are good ones.

Seriously, people?!

I am SO tired of reading people's posts about how much they hate the end of the school year. Too many parties for their kids, end of the year programs, crazy hair days and teacher appreciation.  How DARE they be asked to send in 500 cupcakes for their kid's 5th grade graduation, I mean REALLY! 

Please, bitches, this is mostly your own doing. Most of you have been the alpha moms, taking over every room parent position, fall festival and spring fling you could; "helping" build your kid's science fair project and making sure your exceptionally gifted child is having all of their very special needs met by their TAG teachers. (Whom you apparently find undeserving of appreciation)

Here's an idea - back off. Relax. Let your kids enjoy their last few weeks of school and let their teachers know that they actually matter, instead of hounding them for the A's that you "deserve".  Say "No, I will not send in the three tier cake you asked me for, even though I said I would at the beginning of the year, but here is a box of Oreos for the class to share instead." Or, have your kid bake the damn thing.

Quit bitching about all the papers and events that your make your kids giddy with excitement. Have them do their OWN projects for once and have a margarita and enjoy it while you watch them learn how to solve their own problems.

And STOP COMPLAINING about how long summer is going to be, before it has even started.  Why did you have kids anyway?  

Seriously, people, you have 18 years when they are yours to enjoy, and only about 12 of those where they still listen to you... Appreciate that. Value them. Enjoy the life that you have NOW... while you still have it.